Monday, July 6, 2009

Bork-borkborkbork-borkbork!

On last Saturday, as usual, Daniel, Ah Beng, Eve, KCV and me cooked our own dinner for that particular day. Everything went smoothly as usual, from buying ingredients from Tesco to start chopping and prepare the ingredients. However, something unexpected popped up afterwards..........(curious?...haha)

I was frying the onion while Daniel and Eve were standing besides.

SUDDENLY!!!
??? ???
(what? The multipurpose-cooker exploded? The whole kitchen was burnt into ashes? None of us survive?)

CHOI!! touch wood!!


NO!! The real story is while I was observing my lovely-cute-little-chopped spring onion dancing gracefully in the multipurpose cooker, someone who shouted from our back.



MY GOD!!!OMG!!!
It's AH BORK!!
It's so DEAFENING !
It's so IRRITATING!
IT's SO HIGH-PITCHED!!
IT's so SICKENNING!!!....etc.


Do I need to state what he actually said? (I can see many nodding their heads.....hehe)



READ THIS BEFORE YOU PROCEED
*This whole story below is PURELY fiction and if there are some similarities.......It's PURELY your own imagination and hallucination!*


PART I

Setting : KBU student house

Time : 酉时

Ah Bork : "What is SHE (refering to an object) doing here?" (what a good way of starting a conversation....so perfectly-UNCIVILISED!!)


Me & Daniel: ".... ...." (speechless....Who is SHE?) XP

Ah Bork : "Why there is a GIRL (refering to an object..again) in Boys' student house? I thought only private student will do THIS KIND OF STUFF! JPA students should be very well behaved......I thought only private students will do THIS KIND OF STUFF!"


Me: "... ..." (Fire burning inside...)

[My heart: "HELLO SIR!!! what 'kind of stuff'?Are you trying to say 'COPULATION'? (I know it's quite rude to think like this...) ]

Ah Bork : " Huh?! Why there is a GIRL here, at boys' student house?


Me and Daniel : "... ..."
(the question is quite hard, because I think he's not expecting us to give him the answer of 'COOKING'. He demanded something more than that. Perhaps an answer that is more pevert....I think he would be 100% satisfied if we gave him an answer that is related to "6"). or maybe he's expecting a more scientific explanation? Like using 'Colbert's Laws of Existence' (from google) where 'If an object cannot be seen or a theory cannot be believed, it must not exist'....ok..enough crap! let me continue the story)


Ah Bork: "DANIEL!! (Ah Bork doesn't know my name) You better send HER (refering to an object) back before I chase HER (refering to an object) OUT!"

Daniel: "ooo....."
Eve: "..... ...." (walking out of the kitchen,followed by Daniel, while I'm still frying my spring onion)

PART II
*There were only Ah Bork, me and Ah Beng left in the house

Ah Bork: "Why're you doing here?" (refering to me)

Me: "Cooking....." (Are you blind??!!! It's so DAMN obvious, even the blind also know why I'm here!!! FISH YOU!!!)

Ah Bork : "I thought you live in hostel? Why're you here?"

Me : "Join my friend to cook dinner together." (Don't tell me you're blind in the past few seconds and now you are deaf!!!??)

Ah Bork : "You can consider yourself very lucky because I'm not going to put your name into the balcklist today.....

Me: "... ..." (You dare?)

Ah Bork: "...but next time if I see this again, I'm sure I will blacklist all of you!!"

Me : "... ..." (let the old man talk as much as he wants since he has not much time left....grinning) XD

Ah Bork : "Ah Beng! Where is Hazman?"

Ah Beng :" Ohh... He's not in. Why you want to find him?"

Ah Bork : " Actually......actually.....actually.....there's nothing. I just want to say sorry and THANK YOU to him."

Ah Beng : "??????"

Ah Bork: "...because I drank his '100 minus' without his permission..."

Ah Beng : " t(____ _____ llllllllll) t

......STORY END......




List of Appreciation

-Dai Ka Je aka Shun Ling aka driver to Tesco

All the cast members

-Ah Beng

-Daniel

-Me

-KCV

-Ah Bork

KBU for providing the student house




6 comments:

A STORY OF MINE said...

Alright, what i can said is just u presented it in a creative way, which not normal ppl can do. SALUTE! Maybe u are talented to be a scriptwriter.^^

Song said...

haha....you over-exaggerated the whole thing...haha
I'm just an excellent crap teller
haha....

natto said...

this ah bork guy sounds familiar. i might juz know him. do i know him??

Song said...

haha...maybe....haha
(shhh....shhh....)

Sarah Sim said...

wah. amazing how u can describe until like that. so amusing.

Song said...

< to someone with an 'H' > haha....
thanx...hope that I brought you some laughters...XD