An e-mail ammended by me XD

Below is an e-mail I received from Tony, and my hands are a bit itchy...so I ammended it (a bit).

When people told you these,they mean:

ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
Actual meaning: Withdraw all your savings and distrubute it along the street.

TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to.

As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

Actual meaning: Find a extremely TALKATIVE husband/wife.

THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
Actual meaning: Including this e-mail.

FOUR. When you say, 'I love you,' mean it.
Actual meaning: If not, say 'I HATE YOU' and mean it!

FIVE: When you say, 'I'm sorry,' look the person in the eye.
Actual meaning: ...and you will get a slap because of the unconscious 'sexual harassment' .

SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
Actual meaning: So that you've plenty of time to regret. XD

SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.
Actual meaning: Just like letting 'one-night-stand' rule your world.

EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. People who don't have dreams don't have much.
Actual meaning: Do sleep frequently in the class, this encourages dreaming. ZZ Zz z z z z.....

NINE. Love deeply and passionately.

You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.

Actual meaning: Yes..yes....it sounds like words coming out from Leona Lewis' mouth.

"keep bleeding, keep keep bleeding LOVE..."

TEN: In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
Actual meaning: Do something else besides name calling.

ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.
Actual meaning: Judge by their parents.

TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.
Actual meaning: You think I'm the lousiest computer with the latest and fastest processor?

THIRTEEN: When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask,
'Why do you want to know?'
Actual meaning: This is what most 'b*tches' do when they feel irritated.

FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
Actual meaning: Great love and great achievements will only bring you great risk. XD

FIFTEEN:Say 'bless you' when you hear someone sneeze.
Actual meaning: Sneeze before people say 'bless you'.

SIXTEEN: When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
Actual meaning: Lose all the time to learn lesson from it.

SEVENTEEN:Remember the R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.
Actual meaning: 3R - Respect, Relax & Respond? By TV3?

EIGHTEEN: Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
Actual meaning: If it's a tiny frienship, WHO CARES?!!

NINETEEN:When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
Actual meaning: If you don't want to correct it, don't let others notice you realize it.

TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice
Actual meaning: If you do that and your Mom saw it accidentally........

I'm sure she will ask : "SIAO!!!Is that your GF/BF? "

TWENTY- ONE. Spend some time alone.
Actual meaning: Spend some time EMO around on your bed, your study table, kitchen, toilet, shopping mall....any where...

Hope you learn something from this post.

Hurray!!!